There are a lot of things in life I do not understand or do well but I want to know what each and every one of them means or what it feels like.

I want to know what it feels like to be smart and know big words.

I want to know what it feels like to be ahead of the game and not wait until the last minute to get things done.

I want to know what it feels like to be successful.

I want to know what it feels like to eat healthy, be healthy and live healthy.

I want to know what it feels like to be a healthy weight and size for my height and age.

I want to be able to have an intelligent conversation with someone who is on a very high level of knowledge.

I want to do something bold at least once a day.

I want to know what it feels like to be in love.

I want to know what it feels like to have a normal functioning relationship.

I want to know what it feels like to go out EVERY night in a week and weekend having no regrets.

I want to gallop on a horse across a long pasture.

I want to be fearless again like I used to be before I had too many accidents.

I want to own something that I earned and saved money for.

I want to buy my own car.

I want to own a brand new car.

I want to know what it feels like to be a normal college student without having to worry about my brother.

I want to be a normal 19 year old.

I want to go a whole week without television or internet and not have any cravings.

I want to plant a garden and grow some of the best tasting vegetables and fruits I have ever eaten.

I want to take a cooking class and learn how to cook something other than by “Follow the directions on the box”

I would like to meet at least one very famous person.

I don’t understand politics or science but would love to know what all of it means.

I would like to live one selfless day in my life and think of only others and not myself.

I would like to become a daily blogger.

I would like to write a book on the stupid thoughts I have.

I would like to ask stupid questions and get smart answers.

I would like to have no fear about speaking to someone about my God.

I want to read my whole bible cover to cover, twice in my life.

I would like to know that I am making a difference in someone’s life.

I would like to tell the boy I love that I love him.

I would like for that boy to hurry up and be 18 while I am still young.

I want him to tell me he loves me back.

I want to plan my best friends wedding.

I want my best friend to first get married.

I want to speak another language fluently and live abroad for a year using that language.

I would like to make people laugh when I am around them.

I would like to sew and complete one queen size quilt to fit my bed.

I want to walk my dogs every day for a year.

I want to be in the habit of being organized.

I want to be done with FCCJ by 2011. In order to do this I have to work hard.

I DO NOT want children or to give labor to children ever in my life time.

I want to listen to a song and get butterflies because it is about two people happily in love and it sings my life story.

I want to adventure through a rain forest.

I want to go to Canada and shop through all the vintage shops in Vancouver.

I want to be on television; not to be famous but maybe on the news.

I want to raise awareness about some kind of illness or disease or organization that I am passionate about.

I want to go to UF as soon as possible.

I do not understand how people complain about problems the world has but contribute to these problems.

I do not understand why people who do not need help want help but are too selfish to give help myself included.

I do not understand how situations and controversy is only a one way street and how it is always someone else’s fault.

I do not understand how people can call someone racist and it be okay but when someone points a finger at them they are never in the wrong.

I do understand who people can be so quick to point the finger at someone else but they never do anything wrong.

I do not understand why christians are so judgmental.

I do not understand why religions call themselves followers of Christ but make fun of other religions instead of trying to help each other and uniting as one.

I do not understand why woman play the role of being weak victims because really they put themselves in bad situations and get themselves hurt.

I do not understand why men think they are so superior to women but if they honestly thought about things women have contributed to an equal amount in this world.

I do not understand the point in cheating in a relationship; if you want to have sex with someone else you obviously need to think about the relationship you have and think about what is more important.

I do not understand why it is not okay for people to be themselves and why people have to put people down so much.

I do not understand why people cannot just get along or compromise.

I do not understand why people cannot be more passionate to others.

I do not understand why people get so mad and worked up about people talking about them or calling them things but as soon as they find out someone has said something to them -which is usually misinterpreted anyways- they turn around and do the EXACT SAME THING!

I do not understand why teachers get paid so little but when honestly they are the ones that make the world go round. If they did not learn they could not teach. If they did not teach we would not learn.

I do not understand why guys hide their feelings.

Doing this myself,I do not understand why people take their friends and family for granted.

I do not understand where my drive has gone. I used to be so eager to learn and I used to be so disciplined but I have lost it. I am so lazy now that I do not know how to fix myself. I do not want to be like this. I want to be disciplined and eager to learn and I want to be eager to be successful. I am learning what a parent feels like when their child comes home with homework and they have no idea how to help them because they do not remember how to do it themselves.

I used to be one of the best spellers and readers and I used to be so good with grammar but over the past year I am slowly forgetting things. I feel so dumb all the time but I do not want to look dumb in front of other people so I just keep my mouth shut and disappear into the back ground so nobody thinks to ask me anything and so I do not look dumb in front of a crowd.

to be cont…